Clarity 101: Decide What Feels Best.

It’s the start of a new year! Whatever way you look at it, we’ve made it to 2021 — so congrats!

There’s a general vibe for the year ahead. We’re either all feeling very excited and hopeful, or we’re just a little timid and fearful. Maybe a mix of both? Honestly, this year more than ever, we all deserve a healthy perspective on the feelings we endure. We may have to mask our faces, but we don’t have to mask our feelings. For your optimum happiness and wellbeing, it’s my wish for you to respect your thoughts, and choose them with a tad more consciousness and care this year.

Since we’re fresh in a new year, we owe it to ourselves to decide what it will feel like. Screw what it will “look” like. Capture the feeling of the year ahead. What feelings do you want to experience? I can think of a few if you’re stuck. For me, happiness, love, comfort, peace, excitement, vitality, clarity, joy, strength, creativity, and fun are just a few that come to mind. (I’ve made a list of these, and you should, too.) Could you imagine a life full of only the emotions you choose? Remember that you can choose the feelings you prolong. We will always experience contrast. It’s nearly impossible to never-ever experience something bad. I’m sure we can quickly become frustrated, impatient, mad, sad, jealous, stressed, anxious etc. but we can make the decision to choose a better thought that will bring us to our more elevated state of being.

We need to decide that we don’t want to stay in those less-than-awesome feels. Make the choice and decide what you DON’T want, and then decide what you DO want. Then, commit yourself to that standard of life.

What do I mean by this? Our lives are developed by a series of decisions we make. Typically, we choose to do something for immediate gratification — to feel happy! Let’s face it, each decision we make is because we think that we will feel better once having it. Challenge me on that one, I dare ya. It’s like when you order a burger and fries because it’s going to be sooooo good and we don’t really care about the calories or Cholesterol. Or, when we stay in a toxic relationship because we’d rather experience the temporary comfort of security versus embracing the challenge of change. Or…or…the list could go on and on. Those decisions in fact provide immediate gratification, however, in the longterm, those decisions will bring feelings of possible guilt, unhappiness, fatigue, depression, anxiety etc. so it’s super important that we’re aware of the decision as a pure, honest, and genuinely healthy decision thats aligned with how we want to feel longterm.

Whatever happiness looks like for you, it’s the decisions we need to clean up a bit so we can truly get and stay on that high vibe. Now that you’re ready for the challenge, become aware of your emotions on a daily basis. Take charge of the way you feel and make better emotional decisions that will support the life you dream about.

So how can we make better choices and become steadily happier without making it such a big deal? Decide to be conscious of how you feel, your thoughts (self-talk,) and most importantly stay true to your morals. Let’s cooperate with our new year resolutions and really stick to making better decisions throughout the year.

Vibe check! Here are some things that might help when deciding what you want, and sticking to it.

1) Become aware of how you feel. If you don’t feel well in some area of your life, this is a great indication that what you’re currently doing isn’t bringing the emotions you seek. Think about the decisions that led you to where you do want to be, and think about some things you’ve done that don’t work. You’ll want to cut out what doesn’t feel good, and include more of the things that do feel good.

2) Decide how you do want to feel. If you don’t know what feelings you’re seeking, how can you ever reach them? List them out. What makes you feel good? What are the important non-negotiable emotions you’d like to experience?

3) Decide to decide. Start small and decide what the most important decisions are to you. After you realize how you want to feel, you need to make some good decisions to bring you there. Is it your Health? Career? Family? Relationships? Finances? What decisions will help you get closer to how you want to feel in each category you’re looking to excel in. You’ll feel better and gain confidence because you’ll physically see what you have control over and what you can do on a daily basis to contribute to your dream life. Writing these down on a word doc on your computer, or handwritten in a journal is a great way to really visualize what you’re trying to accomplish.

4) Take aligned action and keep at it. Do what needs to get done and constantly decide to be on your team. Look, there’s no cheer squad that is going to follow you around. You need to stay steady in your endeavor and be your own biggest cheerleader. Just don’t forget to surround yourself with positive like-minded people who will support you in your decisions and won’t judge you for it.

5) Check in and take a step back — think short term AND long term happiness. The goal is to be the creator of your life, not of the victim. Instead of reacting, let’s choose to respond. Lot’s of times, we can decide to hold off on making a decision until we really evaluate what is best. When we quickly react and think of things only for immediate happiness, most of the time we don’t really make the best of choices down the road.

6) Breathe. Wherever you are on your spiritual journey, we’re all in it together. It’s not an overnight success story. Never is, and never will be. We won’t always be thrilled with the decisions we’ve made or come across, but we don’t have to stay in a feeling we don’t desire. It takes time, effort and the decision to live life on your terms and in your feels — so make your terms AMAZING and nothing short of that. After-all, you deserve only the best.